manly sexiness. like your dad.

deary spank,

here i am. i'm back.

went out with cat and becky last night (cat leaves for spain tomorrow). becky's in love - stupid in love. i hadn't been around someone like that in ages - you know, all glowy and gushy and delirious. unable to stop smiling or talking about him. sex-drenched and smug. like the first time. and it is, for her. first time she's been in love. totally reminded me of the first months with mcjv. isn't it devastating that it will never ever be like that again? i hope it can be, but i don't think it's possible now that we've alll been out the other side of it - the part where your guts ache for a year because it didn't work with that person due to any number of complicated factors. like the fact that you always knew he'd live in st. c's. who the hell could live there, anyways?

yeah, conrad is effing handsome. when did this happen? brimming with manly sexiness. swagger and money and confidence. now THERE is a man who could convincingly take me over his knee. ohhhhhh, yeah.

wb!
sticky bee