Spanky’s rebuttal
Dear Indian-hater,
RE: FRIENDS. May I remind you that I am Metis? And it has come to my attention that the Bulldog is also Metis (which explains our mutual yet independently fostered love of 50). Furthermore, considering I have only three friends, and they were all made in Kingston, it is statistically probable that they are all whities. And sluts.
RE: ATTITUDE. Ben Chin was a shitty newscaster. That is why he is no longer a newscaster. Ian Hanomansing, however, is hot and can read news good. I believe he hails from the Pacific Rim (heh, rim). He is also tall and one of my top CBC imaginary boyfriends. Mmm.
RE: MUSIC. I’ll thank you to refrain from drawing my precious Beatles into your non-sensical ramblings in the future. They are not to be tainited by your ridiculous bullshit.
RE: BED-PARTNERS. You know I’ve only ever had one bedpartner. He is Metis, as discussed above.
RE: TRAVEL. You will recal that between living with Christian Kane and finding my own flat, I kept a room in the home of The Only Black Man in Dublin. Andrew was a salsa dance teacher who was also in the business of re-selling stolen bikes. You will remember the tale of my first day in the house, when a knock came at the door and a peek through peep hole revealed two small oirish boys, not more than 10, standing with a bong taller than they. I did not open the door. I froze, silent, waiting for them to retreat. Suddenly, a hand grabbed me. It was the little scums reaching in though the door’s mailslot, grabbing at me and calling “ay you darty slappa, where da fook is Androo? We wanna sell him dis bang ‘ere. Et gets ya fookin’ high”.
Such was life at the home of The Only Black Man in Dublin.
RE: FAVOURITE PLACES. Admitedly, the dominion and the toucan are completely exclusionary and very elitest. Indeed, you do have me there.
In closing, the majority of you allegations have been found to be baseless. Furthermore, at least I’m not a cripple-hater like you are. (Also, you smell like a french person.)
I say good day, sir!
-spanky, friend to cripples.
RE: FRIENDS. May I remind you that I am Metis? And it has come to my attention that the Bulldog is also Metis (which explains our mutual yet independently fostered love of 50). Furthermore, considering I have only three friends, and they were all made in Kingston, it is statistically probable that they are all whities. And sluts.
RE: ATTITUDE. Ben Chin was a shitty newscaster. That is why he is no longer a newscaster. Ian Hanomansing, however, is hot and can read news good. I believe he hails from the Pacific Rim (heh, rim). He is also tall and one of my top CBC imaginary boyfriends. Mmm.
RE: MUSIC. I’ll thank you to refrain from drawing my precious Beatles into your non-sensical ramblings in the future. They are not to be tainited by your ridiculous bullshit.
RE: BED-PARTNERS. You know I’ve only ever had one bedpartner. He is Metis, as discussed above.
RE: TRAVEL. You will recal that between living with Christian Kane and finding my own flat, I kept a room in the home of The Only Black Man in Dublin. Andrew was a salsa dance teacher who was also in the business of re-selling stolen bikes. You will remember the tale of my first day in the house, when a knock came at the door and a peek through peep hole revealed two small oirish boys, not more than 10, standing with a bong taller than they. I did not open the door. I froze, silent, waiting for them to retreat. Suddenly, a hand grabbed me. It was the little scums reaching in though the door’s mailslot, grabbing at me and calling “ay you darty slappa, where da fook is Androo? We wanna sell him dis bang ‘ere. Et gets ya fookin’ high”.
Such was life at the home of The Only Black Man in Dublin.
RE: FAVOURITE PLACES. Admitedly, the dominion and the toucan are completely exclusionary and very elitest. Indeed, you do have me there.
In closing, the majority of you allegations have been found to be baseless. Furthermore, at least I’m not a cripple-hater like you are. (Also, you smell like a french person.)
I say good day, sir!
-spanky, friend to cripples.
posted by Sticky & Spanky at 6:25 AM
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