Wednesday, March 21, 2007

sticky's back.

dear spanky,

here i am! i'm sorry i've been missing from the inter-web. who has time for a full-time job? i clearly need to be retired soon. this just isn't working. no time for making dad-jokes with spanky? completely ridiculous. i prefer a slower pace to my days - wake up, read, write to you about last night's sweaty exploits with your (well-hung) dad, go for a run, watch dogs swim, write in the sun, maybe run an errand. not this 9 to 5 work-a-day business. jeeezus. let's retire, sweet tits. a wealthy retirement - enough money to allow us to drink 50 and get a jet-pack (or faggoty flying tandem trike), go to the nordik spa in wakefield and learn about the ways of the speedo-clad quebeckers, laze about with our laptops in the sun somewhere making fun of people.

ahh...that will be the life, eh spanks?

in other news - i'm still riding the bus with people who stink and bleed a little from miscellaneous cuts and sores. apparently i took a wrong turn somewhere. remember that time i rode the bus from ottawa to kingston and that man sat beside me reading the bible? then, when i woke up from a gross bus-sleep he had full-fledged porn open on his lap - ON TOP of the bible? he was one of my favourite bus-partners.

also - NO FACEBOOK. effing eff, man. what the hell has happened to everyone? facebook is all i've been hearing about. i want none of it. until i'm retired.

sting-in-the-eye coming soon.

oh, yeah. had this scotch last night that was like drinking liquid gold. liquid gold that hits your lips and slides down your throat and makes you feel like taking your pants off. we need to get some of that when you're here. heh.

love and scotchy come-ons,
sticky

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