Friday, March 16, 2007

minor head wounds.

hey baby doll,

i'm on my way out the door so this will be short. stay tuned for my weekly sting-in-the-eye coming later. for now i have a bus to catch.

i don't want to be a princess here. i don't want to complain about public transit and how effing gross it is. but...i feel i have some right to do this as i've been an avid transit user for my entire life. i even took the mother-effing GREYhound from buffalo to denver. if that doesn't give me license to comment (while at the same time entitling everyone to call me a filthy dirty bus-dweller) i don't know what does.

so i get on the bus every morning and it's packed. like, to the tits. and the bus driver screams at us all like we're scuzzy, mildly retarded children to get to the back of the bus. but we can't GO any further, spanky. so we're all mushed up against one another. this is a sick thought in general - to be in such close proximity to the general public. but this is not the general public. these people are bus people.

just to give you a few characteristics many of my bus-friends seem to have in common:

1. they reek. i'm not talking body odour. i would KILL for the smell of body odour on the bus. this...this is much more sinister. unwashed hair, stale vomit, old burps, diapers and...what is that last note i detected yesterday....oh, yes...hot dogs.

2. they talk to invisible people. a lot of my bus friends have invisible friends. i'm fine with that. except for when they start beating them. a man was beating up an invisible man the other day on the bus. it caused quite a commotion.

3. they're generally bleeding a little. i swear. really. they have cuts and sores and they're bleeding. i've seen 4 separate bus people bleeding from their hands and 2 bleeding from minor head wounds.

all for the low low price of $2.25.

gotta get myself a car.

wish me luck, dear spanky. i'll hold my breath and think of you.

love you!
sticky

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