i don't know that word.

spank sez:

i done never heard you use that term before. so i must axe you:

1. do you mean i should have my balls removed?

or

2. do you mean i should have my amputee stump removed?

or

3. sumptin' else?

either way, i'm not parting with my balls. or my stump. so fuck off.

nubbin.

sticky sez:

if i were you i'd get that nubbin removed. pesky nubbins.

saw hothotheat last night. big thumbs down. huge, grossly malformed thumbs down. i've decided they are a study in mediocrity and that's that.

also - big article about wallpaper in the globeandmail on saturday. i meant to send you a link. all about restoring the old prints and stuff. you should check it out if you haven't seen it.

i wish there was some kind of doughnut-product in my mouth.

kisses,
stick

Dear Gay,

Spankee sez:

I don't know if it's Hamilton or if i just don't care anymore. Or if it's Hamilton that's making me just not care anymore.

Either way, i don't give a fuck about shit like that. I only care about reality shows now.

also: they're making a movie on my street this morning, eh? my street's a set. i dunno what movie it is, but they're also filming thee incredible hulk staring my boyfirend . . . shit, i can't think of his name. i have full early-onset alzheimers. Edward Norton! That's it. He's the hulk or something.

i have to go now and write 900 words about wallpaper.

also: i have a date with alice cooper tomorrow night. mmmm.

and: some weird doctor offered me free cosmetic surgery in exchange for advertorial. ahahaha. FINALLY.

what should i have done? (i know! the question is really what *shouldn't* i have done.)

maybe i'll have, like, soap opera plastic surgery to make me look like my nemisis and then i'll frame them for a crime they didn't commit.

i don't know if i really want to look like don henly, though . . .